Admit it. You faked orgasm once upon a time and your man had no idea you were faking it. According to a 2014 article published in Time magazine, up to 80 percent of women fake orgasm. There are varieties of reasons why you and the rest of the female population do this, including:
- To avoid negative emotions that comes with the sexual experience.
- To avoid hurting your partner’s feelings.
- To end the sex because you’d rather sleep or do other things.
- To help you increase your own arousal.
In other words, you fake orgasm for selfish reasons too, and you don’t need to feel bad about it. However, there are other reasons why you cannot achieve that big O, no matter how hard you try.
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Blame it on stress, getting involved in casual hookups, boredom in bed or focusing too much on your appearance and performance instead of pleasure.
Still, this doesn’t mean you can’t do anything about it. Here are 10 keys to find that missing big O.
1. Have A Solo Session
Some of the best things in life are free, and so is masturbation. The question is, are you taking a few minutes of your time to pay attention to what the area down there could offer? The truth is, touching yourself down there has many benefits. When you touch yourself, you get to know and understand yourself and your body. You push yourself over the edge and you find out what feels good for you, what will work and what doesn’t. In other words, it helps you learn on your own.
Keep in mind that the better you know your body, the better your orgasms will be. Your man will never know how to provide you pleasure if you don’t even know what your body wants. Don’t take this for granted. You don’t live in the 1800’s anymore when masturbation was considered a crime.
2. Use The Right Gear
A man’s member can do great things in bed. However, at times, a mind-blowing, pleasurable orgasm is one battery-operated gadget away – and it’s okay to use it.
There is a reason why the Japanese, at least according to the world of porn and adult films, love sex toys. It allows them to control the intensity according to their own liking and makes them orgasm in one of the best ways possible. When it comes to sex toys, the choices are endless. The challenge now is for you to find the right toy that will make you orgasm. Happy shopping.
3. Focus On Foreplay
Let’s say you decide to go on a European trip alone. Since European countries literally have gates and borders between them, one of the best ways to travel in the continent is by train. When you are travelling, it is normal to feel giddy and excited to reach your destination. Have you ever stopped and enjoy the things you see during your journey?
The same concept goes with sex. Orgasm is the ultimate goal in sex; however, you can’t reach that destination without going through a journey. This is called foreplay.According to the research compiled by the American Sociological Review, women have 18 percent more chances of getting an orgasm if they touch themselves. There is also nine percent increase in chances when they get oral sex. If you are serious about getting that big O, then tell your man to spend extra minutes down south.
4. Do Your Kegels
Fact: Kegels are not just for women who recently gave birth. The truth is, you need to give those PC muscles a serious workout if you want to experience a mind-blowing orgasm.
Experts also agree that having strong pelvic floor muscles could lead to better and stronger orgasms. One of the best ways to do this is by adding Kegel exercises into your daily routine.
The muscles you use to stop urine are also the same muscles you need to work out. To do this classic exercise, contract those muscles and hold them for five to 10 seconds.
Do this 10 times and give yourself a one-minute rest before doing another set. Do this three times a day and you will surely see the difference down south in a few weeks.
5. Work Out
Have you wondered why workout or regular exercise is always part of the list of almost anything good? This is because it gives you and your body tons of benefits. Regular exercise burns unwanted fat and helps you achieve a leaner and toned body. This could give your self-confidence a boost and make you feel better about yourself.
However, exercise has more things to offer.
According to a 2007 study conducted by University of Cincinnati researchers, people who exercise regularly are more sexually satisfied.
Lunges, hip thrusts, bridges, plies and inchworms are good routines you can start with. This helps you achieve better orgasms, because the exercises are focused on pelvic muscles, back and legs.
6. Spell Intimacy
Don’t you wonder why you always feel the urge to cuddle after that big O? During that moment and without you noticing it, the brain’s hypothalamus releases extra oxytocin, or the cuddle hormone. This hormone causes you to become more affectionate and triggers your urge to bond, which is why you feel the need to cuddle.
In a study at the University of Zurich, researchers discovered that couples who used oxytocin nasal spray had more intense orgasms than those who didn’t receive anything.
Oxytocin nasal spray may not be the usual things you see lying around the streets. Therefore, the best you could do is to increase the frequency of hugging, touching each other, cuddling and other gestures to show your love and appreciation.
7. Talk The Talk
Sex is a two-way street. This means you need both man and woman working together towards a common end goal. The more connected and synchronized you are, the better the sex will be. Therefore, it is important to encourage honesty and openness in the relationship, even if it is purely sexual.
Start with discussing the things you like and don’t like in bed. Talk about your preferences, your pleasure spots, how you want to be held and even fantasies. If you want to give role-playing a try, then say it and don’t feel ashamed about it. Be honest with your partner and tell him if he is doing something you find uncomfortable. Make sure to listen to your man if it’s his turn to talk.
There’s nothing wrong with being open and honest, especially when it comes to matters between the sheets.
Holding back could lead to more faked orgasms, which could cripple your relationship in the end, so be honest, ladies.
8. Delay Your Pleasure
Good things come to those who wait, so they say. This includes matters inside the bedroom. According to a study published in the Journal of Sex Research, you could make yourself experience an intense orgasms when you bring yourself closer to climax, and then stop.Build yourself back up and stop whenever you feel you are 90 percent there. Repeat the process until you feel you are going to explode.
This may not be a good suggestion for others. However, delaying gratification means longer arousal buildup. The more you delay, the bigger the explosion will be. Relax. Sex is all about pleasure and not just getting those juices out.
9. Consider Porn
Admit it. You probably have clicked that naughty link once upon a time and felt something down there. No matter how forbidden it is, you still made that visit and felt good about it.
However, porn is not just about penises, anal sex and threesomes. In fact, it helps you get in the mood for the night that’s about to come. The more aroused you are, the better your orgasms will be.
There are many erotic movies with a decent plot, steamy sex scenes and not meant to degrade and disrespect women. Aside from porn, you could also turn to erotic literature and let your imagination run wild.
You could also make your own porn to add spice and excitement inside the bedroom. Decide on a story, put yourself in character and act away. That will surely get you in the mood and make orgasms extra special. Just be careful, especially if there’s a camera involved. You don’t want to end up on the internet.
10. Choose Your Position Wisely
Sometimes, you need a battery-operated device to make you climax. Sometimes, it all boils down to the sex position.
A sex position could make or break the ability to orgasm. There are certain positions that give you pleasure, but won’t make you reach climax.
On the other hand, there are moves you could do in bed that will help you get that big O without putting too much effort.
The key here is to experiment in bed until you find the position that will make you orgasm in the best way possible. It is trial and error, but it is surely worth it.
Just make sure to add variety, since doing the same positions every session could make it less exciting and more predictable, so it won’t help you orgasm.
Are you ready to get that big O?