When you were younger, sex was easier. A simple, sexy look from your man could make you wet and tingly down there. Your first year together as a couple was filled with sexy adventures and doing things you never thought you were capable of doing. Then kids came along, and work and responsibilities started to take over. Suddenly, you find your bedroom has become a place to sleep, and sleep alone.
Before you hit the panic button, keep in mind that a lot of couples go through the same stage with you where sex becomes dull and boring
For some, there’s sex, but it has become predictable and repetitive. That’s fine. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do something about it – unless you really want your marriage to go downhill.
So, if you are thinking of going down Memory Lane sex-wise, check out these tips on how to boost your desires for each other, reinvent your sex life
and bring back that lost spark to your bedroom.
1 Change Your Mindset.
Most couples think that the lack of sex means they’re doomed, it’s the end of the relationship; something that cannot be undone.
If you really want to bring your sex life back, better start changing the way you think about “dry spells” in the bedroom.
First things first, it’s not yet the end of the world. You still have plenty of time to make up for the lost time. Second, try to cultivate a positive attitude towards improving your sex life.
If you change your views about the lack of sex, it will be easier for you to focus in the bedroom. And don’t aim for everyday sex, if even you can’t handle it, or your body is not cooperating. Remember, quality over quantity.
2 Put Your Bedroom In The Mood, Too.
Your bedroom should only be used for two things: sleep and sex. If you noticed that sex
is starting to come out of the equation, then look for ways to make your bedroom ready for some sexy time.
Try to make it a place intended for you and your man, an area where you can be intimate and nothing else, except for sleep, of course.
Having kids and pets inside the bedroom can ruin your mood for intimacy. Sleeping with them affects your libido
, because you are always conscious of the fact that you might be disturbed any moment. That is why the nursery or child’s bedroom exists. It’s an area for them to rest, play and sleep.
And once the kids are back in their rooms, go ahead and set the mood. Dim the lights, play sexy, soothing music, scatter rose petals all over, light some candles, fill the room with essential oils – the list is endless.
3 Don’t Be Afraid To Experiment.
Going for safe and the usual is okay sometimes. But that’s it. Missionary will always be missionary and will never even get the award for best sex position
out of the hundreds out there. Repeating behaviors is fine, but if you are doing it over and over, it will eventually lose its spark
Hence, keep an open mind and don’t be afraid to experiment and try out new things.
If you’ve been itching to try role play or do in the stairs or your couch in the living room, then go ahead. Just make sure the coast is clear and your acting is believable.
The point is discuss with your partner about the possibility of trying new sex positions
, inclinations and techniques. Don’t be afraid to speak up and talk to your partner about your preferences.
If you want to try a dildo or vibrator
, then be honest about it. Honesty is the best policy, right? Of course, there are certain positions and movements that either you or your man are not comfortable doing, but at least you tried. After all, you only live once, so better try it out while you can.
4 Be Spontaneous.
So finally, you and your man have a common schedule and decided to spend your free time having some wonderful and amazing sex
That’s okay. However, don’t you think it’s equally fun and exciting when you can just do it anytime, with no schedule to follow?
Don’t be afraid to surprise your man once in a while by taking all your clothes off and laying naked in the bed as soon as he comes out of the shower.
Wear his favorite shirt without anything underneath. Take a shower with him in the morning or before you go to bed. It doesn’t matter if it’s just 10 minutes or an hour. Having spontaneous, unplanned and unexpected sex sessions with your man can do a lot to bring the spark back in bed.
5 Explore The Unfamiliar.
You might think that you know everything about your partner since you’ve been together for quite sometime. A piece of valuable advice: Don’t assume.
Being together for so long does not mean there are no facts left to discover. There will always be certain arousing areas that have never been properly stimulated before.
Hence, explore the unexplored and reach out to places you haven’t been before. You can do activities, such as sensual massage or explorative foreplay and find out those areas that are waiting to be discovered.
Stop thinking of sex as a means to an end, something you have to deal with just to get that big O
. Rather, think of sex as an activity that will bring you and your man closer together. Explore the unfamiliar and don’t let the options be restricted by your imagination. Put it into play and enjoy the unexpected explosive results.
6 Build The Momentum.
Having an exciting sex life is not always about spontaneity. Sometimes, planned sessions can be a good way to bring the hallelujah back in the bedroom.
When you do, don’t forget to build the momentum or in simple terms, keep him excited.
Do not underestimate the power of erotic interlude and sexting that can give your guy a boner, even if he’s still in the office.
So, the next time you feel touching yourself, text him or send him a picture of you doing it. He’s going to love it for sure.
7 Dress With Effort.
Here’s another trap. When you started dating, you always made an effort to dress up and present yourself in the most beautiful way possible to please him, even if it meant not eating much of anything for days just to fit in that sexy dress.
Fast forward to ten years, you don’t mind wearing baggy clothes. You are probably wearing your old, worn-out PJs when you go to bed. Since he loves you for who you are, it’s no matter what you wear, right? Wrong.
If you really want to keep the fire burning, don’t take yourself and your partner for granted. Make an effort to come out of the shower wearing something that will surely make his eyes light up and give him a boner. Try to dress in such a way where it is both sexy and comfortable for you.
This doesn’t mean you should spend half of your lifetime savings buying the most exquisite lingerie in Rodeo Drive. That’s just plain unrealistic. Surely, you can find lingerie, or underwear that is both sexy and within your budget. But if you really want something that will keep your partner’s manhood standing up, sleep naked. It’s much cheaper, too.
8 Keep The Communication Lines Open.
Believe it or not, there are a lot of couples, no matter how close they are, who have difficulty talking about sex, and their issues and preferences in bed.
If you are one of them, don’t worry. You can still do something about it. But if you keep your issues to yourself, then don’t expect your sex life to improve any time soon.
Take the first step and talk to your partner about your preferences and needs in bed. Chances are your guy is also feeling shy to open up, so be the man between the two of you, at least in this area alone.
Tell him how you want to be touched, kissed, humped and other sexual preferences. Listen to your guy when he talks about his needs, too. Talking may not make things magically happen, but it will create intimacy, which leads to much more satisfying sex.
9 Consult A Sex Therapist.
When all else fails, seeking professional help can be your last resort.
Sex therapists are professionals you have to pay to visit, but they can teach you a lot.They can also give you tips on how to bring your sex life back.
Aside from the frequency of sex, they may also ask you questions about certain things not related to sex to help you uncover any underlying issues that you and your guy can’t talk about.
Generally, sex therapists or relationship counselors can help you bring the spark back in bed, but for a fee, which is charged on per hour or per minute, per visit basis.
And don’t expect to get the rundown on the best sex positions. They’ll merely assign activities that will eventually lead to better and more frequent sex.
If your sex life is slowly hitting the brakes, then these tips will surely help you get back on the road again. And when you decide to follow these tips, make sure to use Provestra
This female enhancement pill
can help you feel sexy
and desirable again, increase your sexual appetite, and improve lubrication
and sensations down there. Finally, you’ll not only just want sex, but actually enjoy it again.