After a hard week, your man decides to surprise you with a dinner date and your choice of a movie, which you appreciate. As soon as you get home, he expects something in return, and yes, that’s the three-letter word. Unfortunately and no matter how hard you try, you can’t get your area down there cooperate.
How many times have you experienced this? Don’t worry, you are not alone. According to a global study published in the Journal of Impotence Research, up to 43 percent of women from around the world experienced a loss of sexual desire. Consequently, 36 percent of women say they are having sex, but not enjoying it.
While experts have yet to come up with a female version of Viagra, here are some simple and effective things you could do to give your libido a boost.
1. Address Your Stress
Some say stress is inevitable. In fact, it ruins sex for both men and women while inside the bedroom.
That’s true. However, this doesn’t mean you should let stress take over your life.
If you want to give your libido a boost, then you have to find a way to address your stress.
Schedule your priorities, starting with the most difficult task for the day. Take breaks in between, so you won’t drain your energy. Create a stress bucket list and for your reference in case you feel it’s knocking at your door. Stress is everywhere and it’s up to you on how you want to handle it.
2. Talk To Your Man
You heard somewhere that sex is a two-way process. Therefore, you need yourself and your man in order to make it work. How will you do that? Start by sitting down and talking about your issues and needs in bed.
Keep in mind that the best sex encounter starts with a good, open and honest conversation. Pick a time where you can sit down and catch up, hopefully not before the actual sex or after doing the deed. Talk about your issues in bed, things that bother you, sexual fantasies, and what you could do to make it work inside the bedroom.
3. Look Inside Your Medicine Cabinet
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Are you taking any prescription or birth control pills? Did your sex drive drop as soon as you start taking the pills? That could be the culprit.
Medical ailments for high blood pressure and diabetes, and antidepressants restrict blood flow in erogenous zones, thereby lowering your libido. Ironically, oral contraceptives mess up with your sex drive.
In this case, ask your doctor for alternatives. You might also consider switching to herbal supplements to bring back that longing for sex.
4. Do The Sexy Talk
Do you talk dirty in bed? If yes, how often do you do it? Many couples are not comfortable with the idea of dirty talk, since it could be embarrassing to begin with. Believe it or not, initiating a sex talk could open up your sex life in a different dimension.
How do you do the sexy talk? Start by talking about your needs, desires, and sexual fantasies. This will help you get over awkward moments inside the bedroom. At the same time, it breeds honesty and trust in the relationship, which could be a good thing for your sex life.
5. Educate Yourself
How much do you know about sex? Apparently, sex is more than just penetration and orgasm.
Therefore, it won’t hurt if you take time to read materials that could improve your sexual know-how.
If you’re not into reading, there are many videos and adult movies available online that help bolster your sex knowledge.
Make sure to apply your new found knowledge in bed. After all, nothing is more educational than getting that hands-on experience.
6. Be Flexible
No, it’s not just about doing insanely weird positions in bed. In order to boost your libido, this means you need to be emotionally flexible to give you and your man more options for sex. Night sessions will always be a favorite, but consider quickies, romantic sex with all the candles and a romantic dinner for two, a fantasy sex, and make up sex among others. Having different options in the menu could help you boost your sex drive.
7. Fix Relationship Issues
Admit it. It’s easier to say no to sex when you are angry with your man.
Worse, relationship problems are disguised as sexual issues, which could lead to something more painful in the relationship. After all, relationship issues are among the top libido killers for both men and women.
If you have issues with your man, no matter how small it may be, deal with the issue and talk about it. This way, you will be able to find a solution to your problem before the situation gets worse. Plus, it could be a good reason to have that make up sex, don’t you think?
8. Break The Pattern
When you are in a monogamous, long-term relationship, there is a tendency to fall into a pattern, even in bed. Although there’s nothing wrong with this, you and your man find yourself in a trap where you see each other as friends, and eventually lose that spark. The repetitive activities you do in bed could spell disaster, too.
Therefore, find a way to break the pattern. Re-create the best sex memories you had to bring back that spark. You could also introduce something new in the bedroom, such as sex toys or recording the act. Experimenting with positions, and doing the deed outside the bedroom could also get you excited and spice up your sex life, too.
9. Schedule A Date Night
When was the last time you went out with your man?
If you can’t remember your last date night, then it’s not surprising that your sex drive and sex life is going down the drain.
It looks like a simple activity but having date nights allow you and your man to focus on each other, catch up, and talk about anything under the sun. This could also help relive great memories and give you a break from all the responsibilities, even if it means a few hours.
Who knows, this could lead to something after.
10. Switch To A Healthy Lifestyle
You are what you eat. At the same time, good and healthy habits could benefit you in the long run. The healthier you are, the better your sex life will be, too. Therefore, choose your food wisely. There are foods and herbs with phytoestrogen properties, which is something you could benefit from. At the same time, go for lean meat, whole grains, fruits, and lots of dark leafy greens.
Aside from your food choices, make sure to exercise regularly. Exercise releases oxytocin or happy hormones, which makes you feel good about yourself. Plus, this could lead to better body image, hence a win-win situation. Don’t forget to kick bad habits too such as excessive drinking and smoking. It won’t do any good to your body and put your health in jeopardy. No men would want to kiss a walking ashtray, don’t you think?
11. Keep Expectations Realistic
You’ve seen it in romantic films, and even porn. Erotic films could be a turn on, but these could send the wrong signal, since they don’t reflect everyday life.
Take the case of library sex where the actors don’t get caught, or sex in the beach under the bright moonlight. While these are all romantic, these situations don’t happen in real life. Even if they do, there is a risk of getting caught.
Don’t confuse yourself with the difference between fiction and reality. Real life sex is about proper timing and a constant effort to hit the right spots.
12. Take A Break
When was the last time you scheduled some “me” time? If you want to keep your libido intact, then you need to schedule that alone time you promised yourself months ago. Taking a break allows you to focus on yourself and your needs. This helps you recharge and gets you back on track.
Go ahead and find that “break” you deserve.
13. Use It Or Lose It
It may take some time before you get your rhythm back in bed.
Do you have to wait for that moment to come? If you don’t want to lose your sexual function, then you need to help yourself go back in the arena.
It’s about reminding yourself of that pleasure you once felt. The more you use it, the higher the chances of getting over that hindrance until you can finally enjoy it. It may take a while for your sex drive to follow, but it will surely knock on your door as long as you continuously reconnect with your desires.
14. It’s Okay To Ask For Help
There will be sexual road bumps and continuous difficulties, which these tips may not fix. When all else fails, seek professional help. There are many sex issues, which are complicated to handle on your own such as hormonal issues, medical conditions, and the fear of sexual failure.
If you don’t see any changes, not just down there, but in your sexual function in general, go ahead and schedule that doctor’s trip. It’s okay. No one is judging you. Are you ready to say hello again to your libido?