Sex used to be effortless for you and your man. When you were just starting out, a day didn’t pass by without you ripping each other’s clothes off to have the best sex of your life – by far.
Then everything changed. All of a sudden, the idea of your man naked in bed, or even the thought of taking your clothes off in front of him is no longer appealing to you.
Then, you realized that you have “Honey, not tonight” syndrome, where sex doesn’t even cross your mind.
If that’s the case, well, you’re not alone. Surprisingly, you are one of 40 million women in the United States alone who are suffering from low sex drive.
What seems to be the problem? The truth is a lot. Women are prone to cognitive distractions, which means even the little things can make you go off the wall, in a bad way. If you want to get your groove back in bed, then check out this list of nine things that might cause your lack of sex drive:
1. Birth Control Pills
How long have you been on the pill? When was the last time you used your tools down there? Well, you might have found the culprit.
It may be surprising, but that thing that is supposed to make you feel safe when having sex is actually one of the major reasons why you are not in the mood.
According to experts, hormone-based birth control pills increase the sex hormone binder, globulin. This means once globulin is increased, testosterone is reduced, which makes your sex drive
go into neutral mode. In other words, a messed up sex drive.
There are many ways to bring it back. You can go back to basics and use condoms for protection. You can also try a copper intrauterine device, since it’s longer lasting and doesn’t mess with your hormones. If you’re really into pills, then ask your doctor to recommend a different pill that may work best for your needs.
First of all, congratulations. Not all women are capable of nursing their child and even if they do, they often choose not to.
However, having your bundle of joy can take a toll on your sex drive. Yes, ladies. It may sound cruel, but nursing can be one of the reasons why your libido has gone MIA.
When you breastfeed, the hormone prolactin, which is responsible for lactation, is increased.
Unfortunately, this hormone is a sex drive killer because it decreases your body’s production of estrogen and testosterone
.As a result, you are dry down there and your sex drive is, well, somewhere else, like a far-distant planet.
Don’t worry. This doesn’t mean you should stop breastfeeding just to bring your libido back. This is only temporary, and the time will come when you have to stop breastfeeding. In the meantime, don’t force yourself to feel aroused
. It’s going to come naturally. Relax, motivate yourself and think happy thoughts. Once you start to feel better about yourself, your libido comes afterwards.
3. Partner Issues
So, you realized that lately, your partner doesn’t excite your inner sex goddess. Everything he does, he can’t seem to bring out the sexiness in you.
And that’s not all, everything he does, no matter how minor the issue, really pisses you off.
Okay, you two have serious issues you need to address. Believe it or not, repressed anger or any issues you don’t talk about with your partner is one of the major causes of low sex drive.
Keep in mind that the feeling of closeness and intimacy plays a starring role in sex. Therefore, track down the sources of anger. Sit down and talk about your issues like mature individuals. Communication is important to keep the relationship growing. Solve your issues and don’t let anger take over your relationship.
4. Lack Of Sleep
How much sleep are you getting every night? Four hours? Five hours?
Even less than four hours? If you seldom visit dreamland, then it won’t come as a surprise why your sex drive is suffering.
According to a study conducted by University of Chicago researchers, men who only have five hours or less sleep every night have lower levels of testosterone compared to those who get enough sleep everyday. As a result, men with lower T levels have lower sex drives, too.
Although this study focused on men, it is still safe to say that women who seldom get enough sleep are also prone to low libidos
. Therefore, get enough sleep. Anything that messes with your beauty rest can mess up your sex life
, too. Practice good sleeping habits, even if it includes taking a warm bath at night or drinking warm milk a few minutes before you go to bed.
If you have an existing sleeping condition, consult a doctor to find a helpful solution for it.
5. Lack Or No Physical Activities
When was the last time you hit the gym or even ran around your neighborhood? If you can’t remember, well, now you know why your sex drive is taking a break too.
Exercise keeps your heart pumping, thereby sending blood all over your body, including your vaginal area.
Once there is enough blood flow down there, then you get more sensitive and easily aroused. Otherwise, you know what will happen – nothing.
Aside from sending enough blood down south, exercise helps you look good and makes you feel better about yourself. Did you know that poor body image could crush your libido, too? If you don’t feel sexy
, or your self-esteem is nowhere to be found, don’t expect your sex drive skyrocket, too.
At the same time, it keeps you fit and health problems at bay. Being on the heavy side can also result in a lack of libido.
You don’t feel good about yourself, because you always feel you’re not sexy enough, thereby crushing both your self-esteem and your libido, too.
Therefore, exercise as much as you can. Hit the gym, run around the village, and enroll in classes, such as dance or Zumba, play sports – the works. The important thing is to move around and keep your heart pumping.
6. Being In A Long-Term Relationship
Surprised? Well, don’t be. If you are in a long-term relationship, chances are you are so used to each other, to the point where sex is no longer all that exciting.
As a result, you take sex for granted or even refused to do it, because you’re expecting the same thing – and you probably don’t even realize it that it’s starting to affect your relationship.
A 2012 study found out women in monogamous relationships tends to lose their sex drive over time. Does this mean you should not stick to a long-term relationship? Of course not. Being in a monogamous relationship for quite some time is not bad at all. Also, the idea is not exclusive, which means there is a possibility that your sex life is even better as you grow older together.
However, if you feel that you two are drifting apart, then make the necessary adjustments as soon as you can. If it means trying different positions, using sex toys
, or even doing something you’ve never done before in bed, then so be it. In other words, keep things exciting in the bedroom
7. Eating Too Much Or Too Little
Too much food on the plate can lead to obesity. Eating too little can also be problematic.
Wherever you are, one thing is for sure: Your sex drive gets affected somewhere along the way.
Think about this: Eating too much saturated fat and high cholesterol foods builds up on the artery walls.
Clogged arteries restrict blood flow, including down there in the pelvic area. This means lesser sensations and difficulty in getting orgasms.
When you eat too little, your body is messed up too, which can make you lose your sex drive. Extreme calorie restriction for up to 50 percent than normal is not exactly a recipe for better libido
. The best way? Eat right and have balanced and nutritious meals.
8. Date Nights Are Gone
How often do you go out with your man? If you can’t remember the last time you sat together and just talked, well, you two are in serious trouble.
Aside from a suffering sex life, your relationship may be on the rocks, too, since emotional connection is busy roaming around.
In this case, plan a date night. It won’t hurt if you go out as a couple once in a while. Make reservations at your favorite restaurant or try out something new, or even have a home-cooked chat session at home.
The important thing is to reconnect and see where you two are heading at his point of your relationship. Once the sparks are back, your sex drive will also follow.
9. Money Issues
Uh-oh. Are your finances too much to handle? Are you able to pay off any debts, or you are still hoping for a loan extension?
It may seem like a silly combination, but money and sex also go together.
If you worry too much about how much cash you lost in the stock market, or if you are able to pay your rental dues, then expect your sex hormones to worry, too.
The truth is, you can’t make your money worries go away. However, the best you can do is to handle them. Save money and stick to a budget. Pay off any existing debts, and control your urges to spend on unnecessary things. If you worry too much, then schedule a time where you can do the worrying. Yes, it sounds funny, but it does help.
So, do any of these situations are the main culprit for your missing libido? If so, you have the power to bring it back big time.