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What Men Want – 17 Ways to Get Yourself Out of His Friend Zone

Avatar photo 8 years ago 15 minute read

You will always have this one guy who will always have a special place in your heart. He is the man of your dreams, the answer to your prayer, the guy you always wanted to bring home to your parents and tell them he is the one.

Here’s the problem: he doesn’t feel the same for you.

While every man is different, there are certain things about women in general that is on the list of what men find attractive. The challenge now is finding what men want to get you out of the friend zone.

Although it is still a mystery to most women, here’s what men want in a woman and some things you can do to try to attract him with these 17 simple but effective techniques:

1. The Way You Look: The First Step You Need to Master To Get His Attention

beautifulLet’s face it. How you look plays a big factor on whether you can make a man take a second look. Nonetheless, this doesn’t mean you should be a Hollywood celebrity to make heads turn and get men’s attention.

You might say that a man’s perception of beautiful varies. That’s true. According to a survey conducted by cosmetics and body care retailer Escentual, the ideal face of a woman should have:

  • Blonde hair like Shakira.
  • Strong cheekbones and full lips ala Angelina Jolie.
  • Petite nose, which is the same as Miranda Kerr’s.
  • Fine eyebrows similar to the Duchess of Cambridge.
  • Less prominent forehead just like Jennifer Aniston.

This doesn’t mean you should undergo plastic surgery to achieve this look. All you need to do is to pay attention to your appearance. Fix your hair, dress nicely and make sure you smell good. Cigarette breath is also a big no-no, which is the biggest turn off when it comes to kissing on a first date.

In other words, step your best foot forward without compromising who you really are as a person. This leads us to the next tip.

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2. Be Beautiful Inside Out and You Will Be What Men Need In Their Lives

Have you heard of Drake’s song that said, “Sweatpants, hair tied, chillin’ with no makeup on, that’s when you’re the prettiest…?”

perfect bodyWhat men find attractive are women with a beautiful face and a perfect body. Apparently, it doesn’t end there. Men may take a second look at your pretty face, but being truly beautiful is also about who you are as a person.

Beyond the fancy clothes, shoes, hair, and makeup, what men really want is someone who is also beautiful on the inside. Men get easily turned off on women who are snob or those who turn on their character switch just to gain their acceptance. If you want to get yourself out of his friend zone, being beautiful inside out is the key, as illustrated by the next tip.

3. Stick to Who You Are: Men’s Constant Reminder To Women

There is something about being yourself that makes you attractive to men. You already know how important being beautiful inside out is for men. Still, this doesn’t mean you should be the nicest girl in the world and giving food to those who live in the streets if that is not your personality.

In other words, what men want in a relationship is someone who is real and genuine.

Therefore, be yourself. Don’t be afraid to show who you really are as a person. Treat him as a friend whom you can laugh and be yourself with anytime. Don’t change who you are just to please a man. After all, it is hard to sustain a fake personality.

4. What Men Want: Loosen Up and Be Playful as Much as You Can

enjoy their livesYou’re in for a serious, long-term relationship. That’s fine. Unfortunately, if you constantly keep that stiff and too serious mode, you may not notice it but you are scaring the guys away.

Relax and be playful. Men are active and playful individuals who want to have fun and enjoy their lives. They are into experiences and connect with those around them through actions. If you don’t want to turn to as “the one that got away,” then relax, loosen up, and just enjoy the ride.

Laugh with him, look at the positive, humorous side of everything, make fun of each other, play sports together, and even incorporate a bit of teasing and jokes when you are together. Keep the fun and the spark will happen.

5. You Don’t Have to Act Needy: How Independence Makes You Sexy in His Eyes

You might think that being the independent woman will step on a man’s ego. This explains why they go for those who have weaker personalities.

Apparently, that is not the case.

independent woman
Photo by Steve wilson / CC BY

What a man wants is an independent woman who can stand on her own. Dating a driven and passionate woman is hot. He wants a woman who is sure of herself and doesn’t need a man to be able to function. He wants to see that you can be alone.

If you constantly ask him where he is and require him to report to you every 30 minutes, then you are better off as friends. There is no need to drop your interests and passion just to be with him. He would appreciate it more if you enjoy time together without forgetting yourself.

This leads you to the next tip.

6. A Real Man Wants A Woman Who Is Emotionally Mature

In every relationship, there will come a time when you and your man will disagree on certain things. Misunderstandings and tension from time to time will always be part of your relationship. The challenge now is how you resolve these issues.

This is why what men want in a relationship is a stable and mature woman. In fact, how you handle your emotions is among the crucial factors men look for when deciding whether to get serious with you or not. If your emotions are out of control or you constantly blame your man for what you are feeling, then this could be a big red flag.mature woman

What should you do?

Relax and calm down. Don’t let emotions take over your mind and your actions. You should be able to present your feelings and opinions in a calm and non-dramatic manner. Learn to keep your cool no matter how frustrating a situation may be. When you do this, you will be able to win his respect.

Here’s the thing: being emotionally mature is not enough to get yourself out of his friend zone. Read the succeeding sections to find out what else men want in a relationship.

7. What Men Want in a Woman is a Showcase of Intellect and Reasoning

You don’t need a degree from Yale or any other Ivy League schools in America to impress a man. Nonetheless, it won’t hurt if you have opinions and something to say on issues that matter. Believe it or not, stimulating conversations and exchanging meaningful thoughts and ideas could make a man go crazy, which is a good thing.

The truth is, there is more to life than just the latest handbag from Chanel, the recent Hollywood gossips, and your favorite TV show. Engage a man in a conversation that entails him to think critically and objectively. He wants to know your take on certain issues, so go ahead and talk about it.

smart and savvy womanIn other words, being a smart and savvy woman who knows to have fun is definitely an instant turn on. If you are still perplexed, you are not alone. A multitude of articles and movies have been created on this topic to no avail.

In fact, the What Men Want movie came out back in 1930, while the What Men Really Want movie was released in 2012, showing how confused most women are when it comes to making men happy.

8. Passion and Ambition: Qualities That Will Push You Further on Top

You will never know what will happen in the future, unless you’re there. Still, this doesn’t give you the license to focus on the now and now alone.

What men want is a woman with passion and ambition. They want someone who is determined, focused, committed and driven. It may not be the sexiest thing in the list, but being a woman who knows what she wants and planned the future gives the guy a peace of mind.

Therefore, know your passion, establish what you want to do in five, 10, or 20 years from now, and work hard towards achieving it. Don’t change your ambition for a man.

If your dream man comes along and wants to change who you are or discourages you from pursuing what you want in your life, it’s time to move on and focus on yourself. It could be a sign of insecurity, and you don’t need that in your life.

9. Don’t Be a Material Girl: Dwelling Too Much on the Material Side of Life

meaningful conversation
Photo by Peter Drier / CC BY

You can speak politics and current events, while knowing the latest collection of Marc Jacobs and Chanel. You can also be playful and strike a meaningful conversation that will tickle his imagination.

Here’s the thing: If you focus too much on the material things and want him to treat you every time you go out, or if you feel bad when he doesn’t give you the moon on your birthday or you always require him to bring you to the most expensive places in the country, this could pose a problem.

There is nothing wrong with looking for a prince charming or a knight in shining armor who will treat you as a princess, but this doesn’t mean you should act like one. Don’t give him the impression that you are only after his treats and gifts.

Instead of demanding romantic dinners with the New York skyline as your background, let him rise to the occasion and give you the treatment you deserve within his financial limits. Most men can tell when women are after one thing, after all.

10. Show a Bit of Affection to Strengthen the Connection

hug himYou might think that only you and the rest of the women pack crave for intimacy and connection. Apparently, that is not the case. Men are still physical beings, which mean a simple touch could send a tingle down to their spine.

Here are some of the things you can do to show affection:

  • Hold his hand.
  • Hug him and ask him how his day went.
  • Kiss him unexpectedly.
  • Touch other areas of his body like his ears, chest, or inner thighs.

The point is to make sure you make your man feel he is wanted. Once you are able to do this, it could lead to feeling comfortable and opening up lines of communication, thereby strengthening the connection.

11. What Men Want to Hear Is Your Praise And Approval

We all like to hear reassurances, praises, words of encouragement, and anything positive from our loved ones to keep us going. You want to hear it from your parents, friends, colleagues, boss, and definitely from your partner.

He wants to feel the same way and get the same treatment from you.

your manLadies, go ahead and praise your man. Tell him what you like about him, what you find attractive, your favorite part of his body, how proud you are of his accomplishments, or even words of encouragement during his bad days. This will make him feel loved and at the same time, the more you will see and experience what you love about him.

A reminder about making praises: make sure they are genuine, real, and honest. Mean what you say because a man could also tell whether you are praising him just for the sake of praising him.

12. Play The Honesty Card: Becoming Well on Your Way to a More Meaningful Relationship

Everybody, or at least many, has skeletons in their closet. It could be a white lie you said to your boss when you didn’t go to work, saying yes to your child to stop the nagging, and even lying to your spouse about being at work when you are out with some friends.

A little white lie is fine, but if you start to lie about the flirty texts with an old flame or a guy friend, then how do you expect to be in a relationship with your dream man?

Honesty is one of the integral parts in every relationship. He needs he can trust and not be worried about, otherwise, things will not blossom. Be honest.

13. A Little Bit of Respect Goes a Long Way

supporting your man Two syllables, seven letters, and yet, the term “respect” is not the easiest one to do in the list.

For men, respect is also love. It is about accepting and supporting your man all the way, accepting him for who he is up to his very core, and making him feel that you approve of him, his career, his beliefs, and who he is as a person. If he don’t feel that you respect him, then it won’t be surprising if you see him distancing himself from you.

Apparently, showing respect is not just about the man. In fact, it is also about you, how you present yourself, and who you are as a person. It is also about knowing how to respect yourself first and eventually, you will learn how to respect a man.

Aside from your personality and character, knowing what men want in bed could make a big difference in your relationship. Keep reading to know more about this.

14. Learn to Seduce a Man in the Subtlest Manner Possible

Here’s the thing about women’s clothing: whether you wear something short and revealing or long and covered, men will look at it in a negative light. If you want to seduce a man without being straightforward and obvious, learn to strike a balance between revealing and covered.

seduce a manTherefore, if you are after knowing what men want sexually, master the art of hide and seek when playing the seduction game. Here are some ideas you can try:

  • If you are wearing a button down shirt, undo one more button to showcase your chest without revealing your cleavage.
  • Allow your shirt to fall from your shoulder.
  • Ask help when unzipping your dress.
  • Wear lacy bra and let it peep but in an unintentional manner.

Don’t forget to take Provestra before you start with the seduction process just in case it leads to something sexual and sexy.

15. Add “Assertive” to Your List of What Men Want Sexually

According to a recent survey from YourTango and Durex, 96 percent of the respondents said that the best sex is someone whom they are emotionally connected. In fact, being with someone they love is the top confidence booster in bed.

What does this mean?

initiate sexPhysical attraction plays a big factor; however, emotional intimacy is another factor that comes into play when inside the bedroom. The problem is between you and your man, 90 percent of the time, he is the one initiating – and this could take a toll in your relationship.

Go ahead, initiate sex, and be more assertive inside the bedroom. When you do this, you are able to affirm your desire for him, which is something he needs and what a man wants.

Check out these ideas on how to be more assertive inside the bedroom:

  • Step into the shower while he’s taking a bath and soap him up.
  • Wear his boxers –and show it to him.
  • Tell him you are not wearing underwear while you’re out on a date.
  • Direct him and take control when doing the deed.

The important thing is show him that you are interested in sex as well. Sometimes, it’s not always the man’s job to initiate.

16. Be Sensual and Comfortable With Your Own Body

It’s not always about the looks, although looking good and presentable can be a good motivator for men to pay attention. The truth is at the end of the day, it is about being confident and comfortable with your own body.

comfortable with your own bodyIt doesn’t matter if you don’t have a 24-inch waistline or the legs of Victoria’s Secret models. On the other hand, embracing your femininity and making efforts to look good, say little black dress on date nights, will surely show in your aura. This could give your sensuality quotient too.

Once you are comfortable with your own skin and sexuality, this will show in your attitude towards your man – especially inside the bedroom.

This leads you to the next tip.

17. The Biggest Sexual Turn On for Men

Men and sex are two concepts that come together. All the time. An image of a naked woman is enough to turn them on and get their libido up and running.

Here is the surprising part: men’s biggest turn on is not oral sex, role-playing, or doing the doggy inside the bedroom. Believe it or not, it is the enthusiasm and confidence you show inside the bedroom that will surely blow his mind.

You might be wondering why.

Men are about action and accomplishment inside the bedroom. The more enthusiastic and energetic you are, he will definitely up his game to make sure you are satisfied. An interactive sex, where both parties give and take, make the experience more enjoyable as well.

What can you do?

in the moodTell him you are in the mood. Let him know what if he is making you feel good. Talk dirty in his ear. Moan. Demand what you want in bed. Direct. This will surely get you out of his friend zone – together with the other tips you learned above.

The Bottom Line

Every man is different when it comes to their preferences in women. The bottom line is to relax, take it easy, get to know the man first, and let everything flow naturally. Forcing yourself to be someone you are not to please a man is not the best way to do.

Men may be different, but use these 17 traits and techniques on what men want as a guide to help you get out of his friend zone. If he still didn’t notice how great you are as a person, then let go and move on. There are plenty of fishes in the sea, after all.