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Get Back Your Sex Satisfaction in Marriage (It’s Not Over)

Avatar photo 8 years ago 15 minute read

How many times do you have sex with your husband? When you do, how was your experience? Was it sexually satisfying? Do you think there are areas that need improvement?

Being in a long-term relationship gives you a certain level of comfort, availability and familiarity. Unfortunately, this could take a toll on your sex life and could make sexual encounters dull and predictable. The good news though is, you could turn things around and bring back the sex satisfaction in marriage.

How do you do this? Here are 17 simple but effective strategies to bring back sexual satisfaction in the bedroom – and how to get positive feedback when you answer marriage satisfaction quiz.

1. More Than a Reality Show: A Glimpse at the Real Score of Married Life

marriageYou all have a favorite Hollywood couple that made you believe in forever. There’s David and Victoria Beckham, Meryl Streep and Don Gummer, and Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas, among others. Admit it. Just like the rest of us, you wish that your favorite rom-com film will also happen to you in real life.

Here’s the truth: marriage is not a bed of roses. In fact, divorce in America doubled since 1960, and 40 to 50 percent of marriages often end in separation. Consequently, the marriage satisfaction scale has declined over the last four decades. In fact, 60.7 percent of women also said their marriages became unhappy due to several factors.

What do these marriage satisfaction statistics mean?

Marriage may seem like a dead end, but this doesn’t mean you can’t do anything about it. You can still turn your marriage upside down, minimize the risk of ending up in divorce, and bring back the spark to your sex life. How will you do this? The next sections will tell you how.

2. Get Your Groove Back in Bed: Starting With How You Look

wear makeupHow many times do you get a haircut? Do you often wear makeup, especially when going out with your husband? When was the last time you visited the gym or bought a new pair of shoes?

Most married couples forget to dress up or take an effort to look good. You may stay at home with the kids, so what’s the point of dressing up? However, caring about physical appearance is what boosts sexual satisfaction in married couples. The more concerned you are with your appearance and health, the more likely you are motivated to engage in sexual activity.

Go ahead and fix yourself up. Hit the gym, watch fitness videos on YouTube, put on some makeup, and dress nicely. Make sure you do something that makes you feel sexy, and he will notice it, for sure.

3. Bring Back the Sizzle in the Bedroom by Making It a Priority

Many marriage satisfaction surveys will confirm that marital satisfaction declines significantly over time. Unfortunately, this could affect not just your relationship but also your sex life.

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How can you reverse the situation?

Schedule sex and put it on the calendar. Before the start of the week, put “have sex” on any of the days – and make sure to stick to it. The purpose of scheduling sex is that it stops you from making excuses that could put off sex easily. At the same time, it keeps you and your man excited for what’s about to come, which could lead to a more enjoyable sexual experience.

You might argue that it kills spontaneity, which is another factor for sexual satisfaction in marriage. However, think past the spontaneity factor and view planned sex as a form of foreplay. This could change your sex game plan a lot.

4. Lock the Bedroom Door: Another Secret of Sexually Satisfied Couples

Do you want to increase your level of marriage satisfaction? Then learn to lock the bedroom door.

lock the bedroom doorYou love your kids, there’s no doubt about it. However, the reality is marriage satisfaction drops after baby. This is because aside from being a wife, you also play the role of a mother – and you know how kids can get. All of a sudden, there is a shift in your role and you tend to put the mother hat on all the time – even in the bedroom.

Here’s a simple trick: lock your door. This creates a sense of setting a boundary that allows you and your husband to just focus on each other, and forget about kids and their toys. This also creates an optimal environment for intimacy and eventually, for sex. Just make sure you’ll put them to bed early and teach them how to knock on the door to announce their presence to avoid disruption.

5. Establish a “No Excuses” Rule Inside the Bedroom

How many times did you use the “headache,” “I’m exhausted,” and “kids” card every time your man signals he wants sex? You can never run out of excuses just to avoid sex.

inside the bedroomHere’s the thing: When you keep putting it off, sex takes a back seat and the sexual satisfaction in marriage starts to decline, without you even noticing it.

To address this issue, have a “No Excuses” rule inside the bedroom, or at least when it comes to sex. Remind yourself that sex comes with benefits such as:

  • Reduces stress.
  • Promotes better sleep.
  • Relieves pain.
  • Encourages trust in the relationship.

Instead of making excuses, come up with strategies that hinder you from having sex. This way, you could get your sex life back where it belongs.

6. Don’t Hate Sex and Instead, Initiate the Deed

Can you remember the last time you woke your husband up for some steamy action? If you can’t remember the last time you seduced your man, then now is the time to change things up inside the bedroom.

passionate kiss
Photo by Karoly Czifra / CC BY-SA

Before you sleep, try cuddling or spooning with your man. Then, move your butt against his member. You should also try moving your hips a little as a signal that you are ready to go. Guide his hands when caressing your body. As you both get excited, face him and give him a passionate kiss. The next thing you know, your clothes are all over the floor.

You can also send sexy, flirty messages or show off a certain part of your body to give him an idea that you are in the mood. Keep in mind that it’s all about having the right mindset. If you put your mind and will power into it, it will happen. Therefore, go ahead and initiate. After all, it’s not always a man’s job.

Just in case you need a booster, Provestra could help you get in the mood and enhance your libido.

Stick around. There are more tips waiting for you to increase sex satisfaction in marriage.

7. When It Comes to Sex, There is a Place for Quickies

Most couples put off quickies because they lack intimacy and foreplay. In the marriage satisfaction inventory, saying yes to quickies could help a lot in establishing connection and getting the fun back in your sex life, especially if you are new parents.

Photo by Aimee Plesa / CC BY

So, what could quickies do?

Three words: mind-body connection. From the name itself, quickies are quick, intense and sexually satisfying if employed at the right time and place. The thrill of getting caught or taking advantage of your kid’s nap time could also add in the excitement.

The key is to think of a place or time when sex was amazing. Use it as a form of meditation to prepare your mind for some quick encounters. The important thing is to use your 15 minutes to your advantage instead of allowing dry spell to take over your sex life.

8. Say Yes to Sex Satisfaction in Marriage Through Experimentation

Being married for quite some time means doing certain ways you are familiar with – and you’re okay with that. While comfort and familiarity ease tension and awkwardness inside the bedroom, this could make your sex life predictable and less exciting.

sex toys
Photo by Tracie / CC BY

What will you do? Experiment and introduce changes inside the bedroom.

You don’t have to do bondage or use different sex toys you’ve never heard of. Changes and experimentation may mean having sex at a time you don’t often do it, doing the deed outside the bedroom, or trying new positions. Thereafter, you can introduce more bedroom techniques like role-playing or bondage, as long as you are up for it.

The important thing is to strike a balance between being conventional and adventurous to maintain sexual satisfaction.

Speaking of experimentation, read the next section to find out how you can get satisfaction back in the bedroom.

9. Be Bold, Think Brave, and Take Risks for Sex and Marital Satisfaction

According to the Household, Income, and Labor Dynamics in Australia or HILDA, women become more unsatisfied with their relationships as the years go by. The truth is you don’t have to feel that way. Aside from the techniques mentioned, here is another strategy to help you and your man get back on track: take risks.

in the beach
Photo by Tony Fischer / CC BY

What does this mean?

Don’t settle with the kind of sex life you have right now. Sure, it works, though you have to admit, there are instances when you wish you could do more. Therefore, don’t be afraid to try something new, even if it means stepping out of your comfort zone. Challenge yourself like having sex for 30 days. Think Anastasia Steele sans the play room, who is willing to try something new despite her lack of experience.

If you are ready to take the next level, go ahead and do it in public like in the beach or empty parking lot. Just make sure you won’t get caught.

10. Go Beyond the Porn and Look for Inspiration

Fact: Men like porn, regardless if you appreciate it or not. Aside from turning them on and helping them get off in case you are not around, porn is the place where they could get ideas, which they can bring inside the bedroom.

try something newYou don’t have to watch adult videos all the time just to get ideas on how to turn your husband on. Thanks to the World Wide Web, there are tons of information online, which you can use to increase marriage satisfaction. Then, apply what you learned inside the bedroom and pay attention to how your man will react to it.

The bottom line: don’t limit yourself to what you can do. Get inspiration, learn, and then try something new.

11. Challenge Yourself and Learn How to Talk Dirty

Do you talk dirty in bed? If not, then that’s okay. Most women don’t include “dirty talking” among their forte, so you are not alone.

Here’s the thing: men like it when you talk dirty. This means going beyond the “oohh” and “ahh” during sex. In fact, this could even turn them on and get them more excited when having sex. Apparently, not all women are into this type of language and often feel awkward.

talk dirtyIn case you are one of them, here’s what you can do to make your man get more excited on you:

  • Start first with one to three words like, “Keep going” and “That’s it.”
  • Tell your husband that you enjoy what he is doing such as, “Keep going harder” or “I love how hard you are.”
  • Give him instructions like where do you want to be kissed or licked.
  • When talking dirty, make your voice a bit lower and softer than your usual tone.
  • Ask him questions about what he wants you to do.
  • Don’t forget to compliment and praise your partner.

The important thing is you should be comfortable with what you will say. This will turn your husband on even more if you add a bit of confidence and conviction in it.

12. Give Him the Best Oral Experience He Will Ever Have to Ensure Sexual Satisfaction in Marriage

blow job
Photo by Kitetop / CC BY-SA

You want every inch of your body to get satisfied, especially your area down south; hence, you expect a lot from him, because you feel that you deserve the best experience.

Believe it or not, he shares the same sentiments. If you want an increase in marriage satisfaction scale, then you should ensure that you are giving him the best treatment. This includes giving him the best blow job.

How to Give a Great Blow Job

  • Focus on sensitive areas such as the tip of his penis, testicles, and perineum or that area between his testicles and anus.
  • Aside from your mouth, use your hands and tongue when giving him a blow job. If you can, use your mouth and hands together and find the rhythm.
  • Involve other areas down south, like licking his perineum, kissing his inner thighs, and sucking his testicles gently.
  • Play with hot and cold temperature, and make him decide which sensation is better.
  • Maintain eye contact while you are down there. It makes the experience even sexier.

Still, this doesn’t mean you should just focus on his body. The next tip will tell you how you can increase sex and marital satisfaction aside from giving him a blowjob.

13. Before You Go Down South, Learn to Stay and Focus on What’s Up North

kisses you in certain areas of your body
Photo by Bryan Brenneman / CC BY

There’s something you should know about your body: you have more erogenous zones than your husband. This means you could easily feel a tingling sensation when he kisses you in certain areas of your body.

Because of this, you might think that men and sex are all about penis. The truth is it’s not. While the main objective is to get inside, one way to keep your man satisfied in sex is by exploring his body too.

In other words, pay attention to other areas in his body. You can start with his ears, then go all the way down to his neck, chest, and even his nipples. Your man’s nipples are sensitive too, so try to focus your tongue in that area. Don’t forget to tickle and lick his legs, thighs and even his back to keep him happy and satisfied.

14. Learn More About Him for Sex Satisfaction and Happy Marriage

talk about some of your fantasies
Photo by Jacob Appelbaum / CC BY-SA

You might think that you know every bit of detail about your husband. Being together for quite some time, you’ve seen him in his best and at his worst. Still, this doesn’t mean that there is nothing else to learn about your man.

One of the secrets of sex and marital satisfaction is by finding out his fantasies, kinks, fetishes and preferences in bed. If you are serious about your goal of satisfying him in the bedroom, then finding them out is the most powerful thing to do. Once you know what he wants, go ahead and execute it.

Here’s the challenge: encouraging him to open up about his preferences and fantasies. He might be embarrassed or reluctant to talk about it too. To make him feel at ease, talk about some of your fantasies and preferences in bed, too. Tell him how much you want to try different things with him.

As soon as you get him to talk, listen genuinely and don’t judge.

15. Master the Art of Flirting to Make Sex and Married Life More Satisfying

Photo by Glenn Loos-Austin / CC BY-SA

The truth is, you’re not getting any younger and there is nothing wrong with that. Still, don’t let age take a toll on your relationship. When everything else seems overwhelming and exhausting, always remind yourself why you are married.

Be candid. Act like teenagers. Go on simple dates like eating ice cream, watching a movie, or having a picnic in your own backyard. Have sex as if you are still in your 20’s. Don’t forget to flirt with him because it keeps the passion alive.

Here are simple tricks you can try:

  • While your husband is working at home, interrupt him wearing his white shirt.
  • Undress in front of him.
  • Surprise him with a romantic dinner for two.

The bottom line is, don’t be afraid to bring back the more youthful you. This could bring back sex satisfaction in marriage back in the bedroom.

16. Communication: The Secret to Sex and Marital Satisfaction

date nightsThis is the most important tip you should remember. In fact, all of these tips won’t work if you don’t have excellent communication skills.

Why is communication important?

There is no better way of knowing and understanding what your partner wants other than talking. Communication often breeds trust and honesty, thereby ensuring sex satisfaction in marriage.

Therefore, let him talk and make sure you will listen. Schedule date nights or during your down time, talk about anything – from fantasies to preferences to needs and wants, both in and out of the bedroom. The more you keep communication lines open, the better your sex life will be.

Don’t underestimate the power of talking. More importantly, listen genuinely and attentively.

17. Forget About the Fountain of Youth and Learn to Accept Your Age

Aging is inevitable. No matter what you do and how many products you apply on your face, your age increases by one every year, and there will always be a different candle in your birthday cake every year.

agingHere’s the thing: your age could take a toll in your physical, emotional and mental state. At the same time, being confident could be extra challenging once hormones come into play. Because of this, you might find excuses not to have sex since you don’t like what you’re seeing.

That’s fine. However, aging is a normal biological process and the best way to deal with this is by embracing it. Wrinkles, sagging arms, a loose belly, and white hair will appear, but don’t let them define your sexuality. The more you stress about your body, the more likely you will set sex aside.

Embrace your age. Life is defined by the lessons learned, not by your waist line or wrinkles. Bring out your confidence card, and your husband will surely find you sexy and even more attractive.

In case your sex life is going down the drain, don’t give up. There are still ways you can bring back the sex satisfaction in your marriage, such as these 17 tips. Take it one step at a time and you will surely say hello to a better, sexier, more pleasurable, and more satisfying sex life with your man.

Don’t forget to use Provestra, a female enhancement pill that will help you increase and intensify your desire for sex. With all these tips, your relationship will keep growing stronger, instead of weaker.